Tuesday night i could not sleep because i felt very attacked. I was experiencing so much guilt, fear and doubt and i didn't have the words to say to God. So i opened up psalms and read for a couple hours in the dead of night 1-43. I should have been really, really tired... but all i had was joy and peace!
It is funny looking back on it now, because the psalms went in the order that i was feeling, they started off with grief and pain and asking God for protection and rescue. To be honest, i have never felt so attacked in my life, and the first chapters were all about being attacked. As i read through the chapters, this strange calm came over me and i could clearly see that God's hand of protection was over me, and i was able to figure out the source behind the guilt and doubt racing in my mind, as well as God pushing me and teaching me new things. God set me free from guilt that i have been struggling with for a long time now, 18:19.
As the psalms went on, instead of needing reassurance and rescue, all i needed was to praise God for what he had just done in the span of seven inspired Psalms for such a time as this. I have never experienced so much Joy, and because it came from a mess of a time, it just goes to show how great my God is.
Psalm 13:5-6 Psalm 16 Psalm 27:4
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